What's Your Word For 2015?

As we near the edge of 2014 and gaze beyond it to the blank canvas of 2015, I can’t help but wonder what the new year will bring.  Last week, I met with my therapist, and she asked me to consider choosing a word that would be my focus of 2015.  I’ve given that a lot of thought over the past few days.  New Year’s Eve and birthdays always seem to be very emotional with me.  Both tend to lead us to reflect upon both the successes and the disappointments of the year before, but they also bring with them thoughts of possibility. 

One word that I’ve used to focus my energies in the past is ‘balance’.  Balance is a good word.  It’s also a safe word.  No one is ever going to tell you that ‘balance’ is a bad thing to pursue.  We’re constantly told that we need to maintain a healthy work/life balance.  Of course, we’re often told this right before something is about to throw out work/life balance to Hell and back.  With me trying to balance this oddly shaped 3-seated teeter-totter of work, life, and school, no one would ever discourage me from seeking balance, although they might secretly think there’s no way on earth for me to ever actually achieve it.

Another word that I considered to help shape my 2015 is ‘vision’.  As I begin to edge uncomfortably closer to the big Four-Oh, I begin to ask more and more of those mid-life crisis questions.  Where is my life going?  Will I ever find true love?  Will I ever write that novel that I know lays inside me?  Will I be able to successfully transition into my new career?  Will I ever have more money than I owe?  What’s going to happen on the second half of season five of ‘The Walking Dead?’  These are legitimate questions that I feel that I need to have answers to.  In order to begin moving forward towards the life I want, I need to have a firm grasp on the vision of where I want to go, but, ultimately, I decided that having vision wasn’t enough.

A third word that I considered was ‘health.’  I wasn’t going to limit my focus to only my physical health.  Our biological bodies are only one aspect of us.  We need health in all areas of our lives, right?  I was going to sit down and develop plans for my physical, social, emotional, financial, and spiritual well-being.  These would become the framework for my New Year’s resolutions.  Each would come with goals and realistic, measurable ways to track progress toward those goals.  This is something that definitely needs to, and has already started, to happen, but I still didn’t feel that this was the right word.

I have long acknowledged my need for greater balance in life.  I tend to throw myself in one direction with greater force to the detriment of the other areas of my life.   Recognizing this, I have often thought about what the life I would like to have would look like.  This envisioning have always stopped short of creating actual dream or vision boards.  I believe that is something that I need to correct.  Vision boards need to happen for all areas of my life.  I need to be able to see the life that I want and chart a course to live into it.  Hopefully, doing these things and creating plans will lead to a healthier and more balanced life than I have had in the past in all (or at least multiple) areas of my life. 

I have had thoughts like this in the past.  I will stand at the precipice of a life-changing decision, staring out before me as if committing to the decision means stepping out over a vast canyon below me.  I stare down into it, calculating the odds of me being able to traverse down into the openness below with all of its unknown challenges.  I know it would feel amazing if I successfully made it to the bottom safely, but it just looks so scary.  I’m sure that there are all kinds of unknown challenges, things that I haven’t anticipated, or could likely even conceive of.  Also, what if I succeed?  People might look at that and then expect me to traverse down an even steeper and more treacherous canyon wall.  As I gaze down into the canyon, I realize that I am as afraid of the possibility of success as I am the possibility of failure.  Ultimately, I realized that only one word characterizes how I need to enter into 2015…’JUMP!’  I need to grab hold of my rappelling line, trust that it is secured, and I need to jump.  Planning is needed and essential, but, ultimately, a plan is just a nice idea until it is put into action, and, so, it is time for me to jump!

~ Culbs


joshua.culbertson@gmail.com

© Joshua Culbertson 2014

Down 5 Pounds!

I finally feel safe to say that I'm down 5 lbs.!  My weight fluctuates so much that I've been hesitant to say much.  For the past week I've been fluctuating between 255.2 and 255.4.  This morning when I stepped on the scale, the number glowing back up at me was 254.2!  That made my day before I even really got started!  Monitoring my physical activity and calorie intake has changed how I make decisions.  I haven't actually denied myself anything in terms of food.  I know that I can eat anything I want, but what has been interesting is to find myself seeing some foods as less desirable because I'm not willing to take the calorie hit or make the physical sacrifice to do the amount of exercise it would take to be able to eat the thing that I thought I wanted so badly.  Little by little, I see my choices changing for the better.

Budgeting is going well too.  Of course, I only have one paycheck worth of experience to say that about so far.  The good news is that it isn't payday again yet, and I still have money left, not much, but I'm not in the red.  Also,  I haven't tapped into the reserves that I set aside to begin building a savings cushion.  Small victories, but it's a beginning!

- Culbs

joshua.culbertson@gmail.com

© Joshua Culbertson 2014

Still on Track...Surprisingly

Putting myself on a budget and taking a hard look at my finances has been a good thing for me, but it has also been incredibly stressful.  I have a couple of ways that I naturally deal with stress.  One is eating.  The other is spending money.  Sometimes, I combine the two and take myself out for a ridiculously over priced meal.  

This budget thing, the 'b' word, has definitely resulted in some moments of stress eating, but I've forced myself to record those weak moments as part of my calorie intake for that day.  Sometimes, just seeing the huge dent a tempting snack puts in my calorie allowance is enough to discourage me.  Other days, I just plow right through and eat whatever it is anyway.  When that happens, so far, I've been able to pull myself together later in the day and tell myself that I have to pay the price for that indulge, getting some extra walking in or even just doing some cleaning around my apartment to get the double benefit of burning some calories and eliminating some of the clutter in my environment.  

Yesterday was a day that I came very close to exceeding my calorie allowance. I only had 18 calories left for the day when I went to bed.  I told myself I'd be happy this morning if I just hadn't gained weight.  This morning, when I stepped on the scale, I was pleasantly surprised to see that I'm still moving forward.  The number glowing back up at me was 255.4.  I'm just shy of having lost 5 pounds.  I'm happy with that.  

When I started this, I gave myself the modest goal of losing one pound per week.  I'm well ahead of that schedule.  I can already tell that I have more energy, too.  It's far easy to get out of bed in the mornings.  My main goal is just to be and feel healthier because I know I was well on my way to not being.  Being conscious of each dietary and financial decision I make is helping me make better decisions in both categories.

- Culbs

joshua.culbertson@gmail.com

Weight from the scale this morning: 255.4

The 'B' Word

Well, now that I feel like I’m on tracks to get myself more organized and healthier physically, I’ve decided to take on another category in which my life needs some bringing together.  This is an area of struggle that impacts so many areas of my life.  It is also related to the two other areas that I’ve already begun to work on.  It is my finances.  My finances, just like my physical environment, are often lacking in terms of organization and direction.  As with food, my inability to deny myself results in over-spending.  These three areas of my life are inextricably linked.  I knew at the beginning that I needed to work on all three areas, but I also know, from past experience, that it’s easier for me to get one plate spinning at a time, rather than going for all of them at once.

That brings us to the dreaded ‘B’ word…budget.  I have never successfully lived on a budget, but I’ve had lots of experience living very unsuccessfully off of one.  As embarrassing as this is, my first step was actually to Google how to even make a budget.  I understand that basic concept, of course, but if it was really that simple, we’d all be financial marvels, wouldn’t we?

Good Budget App Icon

Having My Fitness Pal on my phone has been a tremendous asset in me getting myself together in terms of diet and exercise.  After looking at a few options, I decided, for now, to utilize the Good Budget app for my phone.  It also has a full website so that I can access it from my laptop as well.  This allows me to allocate funds, as they come in, to budget categories and then spend from those categories from wherever I am.  The easy part has been accomplished.  A budget has been created.  The difficult part will come in a few days when I receive my next paycheck and have to help from having a budget to living one.  Time will tell, but this is a significant step for me.

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey.  Hopefully, this blog will encourage you to tackle some obstacles in your own life, and I certainly appreciate you being here to keep me accountable in reaching my own goals.  I’m sure that there will be set backs along the way, but I’m committed to getting there.  Again, thank you for continuing to back.  Feel free to comment or send me an e-mail.  Let’s support each other on our journeys.

- Culbs

joshua.culbertson@gmail.com

© Joshua Culbertson 2014

Cedar Point

Headed to Cedar Point for the day with a couple of friends.  In addition to all of the obvious reasons to love Cedar Point, one new reason that I've come to appreciate is that I know that every Cedar Point day is at least at 14K step day for me.  There's a nice little workout disguised in all that fun.  I've already looked to make sure that some of the possible lunch options are included in the database on My Fitness Pal.  I'm sure that whatever I eat will be laden with calories, but those steps will earn me a few extra calories today :)

- Culbs

joshua.culbertson@gmail.com

Weight from the scale this morning - 257.8 lbs

Schedule Disrupted

Let me tell you about my day yesterday.  It’s going to sound like I’m complaining, but, in reality, I’m very happy with what the day produced.  Yesterday was my day off.  I’ve been making a conscious effort to keep a calendar and have a plan going into each day, but I’ve also been challenged by my therapist to keep pockets of time open that are completely unplanned.  That is difficult for me.  Even when I’m not actually writing my agenda down, I unconsciously plan out my time.  For yesterday, I had two things on my calendar.  I planned to go to the gym in the morning and I planned on going to Equality Ohio for volunteer night in the evening.  Everything else was wide open.

As I was just getting up and getting dressed to go to the gym, I heard the doorbell ring.  Unless I’ve ordered a pizza, and I wouldn’t put it past me to do that in my sleep, that never happens.  Naturally, I was a little startled, but I went down the stairs and opened the door.  I was met with an unfamiliar face on the other side.  The man told me that his name was Rick and that he was the new maintenance man for my apartment complex.  My first thought was, “Oh.  This is nice.  I appreciate him coming around to introduce himself.  This way I’ll know who he is if I see him around.”  

This is where even my sparsely planned day went off the rails.  Rick informed me that my downstairs neighbor had a leak in her bathroom ceiling, and he wondered if he could come in to check my pipes.  Well, I had been the victim of a leaking room at one of my previous apartments.  I know what a nightmare this can be.  Of course, I welcomed him in to check things out.  

To cut straight to the chase, my hot water heater had a small leak and had apparently been leaking for months.  Rick asked told me that he needed to go pick up a new hot water hearted and asked me if I was going to be around.  I told him that I had a commitment that I needed to be downtown for at 6:00, but, other than that, I could be around all day.

Now, I’ve talked about my level of organization.  I’m one of those people who would say, “I’m not a dirty person.  I’m a clutter person.”  I think that makes people like us feel better somehow.  Given that, what do you suppose the odds are that my apartment was in the condition I’d like it to be when a random man shows up at the door?  You’d think that I would have begun cleaning as soon as he was back out and on his way, but my initial reaction is just to acknowledge that I wish it would have been clean and then to categorize it as too large of a task to deal with right now.

Well, immediately after Rick left, I decided to sit down and have breakfast and do some reading.  Reading positive things, especially in an area of my life where I’m trying to do some work on myself is good for me.  Yesterday, as I was eating my granola bar and yogurt, I got his with this from the Joyce Meyer book I mentioned that I’ve been reading. 

“Procrastination is a thief.  It steals our time, our potential, our self-esteem, our peace of mind…Procrastination is very deceptive, and we can only conquer it by becoming what I call a ‘now’ person.  Be aggressive when you know you need to do something.  Don’t put it off and keep putting it off…just do it!” 

- Joyce Meyer, Making Good Habits, Breaking Bad Habits

Well, I got my yogurt container and the granola bar wrapper in the trash and the spoon in the dishwasher.  No need to allow them to add to the clutter, and I got busy cleaning as much as I could until I heard a car door shut, and I looked down to see Rick had returned with the new hot water heater in the bed of his truck.  When he came up up, things weren’t spotless, but they were much better than they were before.  As he started working again, I engaged in a bit of small talk until that felt awkward.  Then, I went to hide in my bedroom.  I watched a bit of an episode of The West Wing on my i-pad (I know it’s old, but I love that show.).  Then I decided that I might as well be productive while I was back there, and I began working on a pile of clutter in one of the corners of my bedroom.  After I finished, I stood back and stared at the now empty corner marveling at how much simpler that task had been in reality that it had seemed in my mind.  

My next thought was, “I didn’t get to go to the gym.  Is there anything that I can do to move forward with that goal while I’m here?”  I subscribe to the website Daily Burn, and I knew that I could pull up and do one of their exercise, but I would have felt awkward doing that with Rick there.  Plus, I needed to know that I was going to be able to get a shower later, and, at that moment, that wasn’t a guarantee.  

The Exercise piece has always been easy for me to understand.  I feel so much better when I’m exercise, and it helps me to release stress from work and other areas of my life.  The piece that I struggle with is managing my diet.  I know that this piece has to come into play also because, even working out regularly, I am just maintaining my current weight.  I’ve been using a pedometer app on my phone called Pacer that has been helping me make sure that I get enough physical activity during the day.  I have tracked my food intake in the past, using online trackers and also doing it in a notebook, but I know that the first time I don’t have a computer or a notebook with me to record what I’m eating, that will be my excuse to stop doing it altogether.  I knew that I needed a phone app if I was going to do it consistently.

I began browsing through apps while sitting on my bed, and I came across one that I had apparently downloaded and then deleted form my phone previously.  It was called My Fitness Pal.  This is only my second day so far, but I was able to put in my current weight of 260 lbs and my weight goal of 190 lbs.  When I first moved to Columbus a little less than three years ago, I only weighed 195, and I felt so much better about myself and had a lot more energy.  I want that me back, or at least to be much closer than I am now.  Anyway, this app allows me to track both my caloric intake as well as any physical activity that I do throughout the day.  I am motivated to exercise because I can get additional calories to eat that day if I do, and did I mention that I like food?   It does another things for me that I like.  It takes all of the food that I eat and breaks down whether those calories come from carbs, proteins, or fat.  I like this because my doctor has challenged to to get more protein into my diet and to reduce the number of carbs that I eat.  Using this app shows me that I am not where I need to be, but, at least, I now have measure of where I am and I can make adjustments to get myself where I need to be.

Rick would end up leaving my apartment again to get more parts that he needed.  When he did, I went on another quick cleaning binge.  I’m sure that I burnt more than a few calories yesterday just from cleaning.  By the time he got back that time, I actually felt like my apartment looked like  a place that I wouldn’t be embarrassed to have friends come to.

When Rick was finally finished, he told me that I needed to wait 45 minutes before getting at shower.  At that point it was about 4:30.  Since I had to just wait, I decided that I could squeeze in a workout off of Daily Burn.  That took me about 30 minutes.  Then, I threw some clothes together over the next 10 minutes and jumped in the shower.  I was about 15 minute late to Equality Ohio.  There was a traffic bottle neck on 71 S near the fair grounds since the Ohio State Fair is now in full swing.  I should have thought of that before I left home, but it ended up working out anyway.

So, at the end of the day, my apartment felt much cleaner and a little more organized, I still managed to get a workout in, and I still managed to do some good in the world by getting some volunteering in.  Overall, I felt pretty good about the day.

Also, I’m going to begin including my current weight with each post to this blog.  It’s a way of keeping myself accountable and motivated.  My weight from the scale this morning was 259.6 lbs.

- Culbs

joshua.culbertson@gmail.com

© Joshua Culbertson 2014

"I've always believed fitness is an entry point to help you build that happier, healthier life. When your health is strong, you're capable of taking risks. You'll feel more confident to ask for the promotion. You'll have more energy to be a better mom. You'll feel more deserving of love."

Jillian Michaels

Building New Habits

I'm currently reading Joyce Meyer's 'Making Good Habits, Breaking Bad Habits.' I needed this quote today. 

"Be patient with yourself.  It takes time to create habits, and you may not succeed every day.  If you realize you have failed, don't waste time being discouraged; just pick up where you left off and begin again.  Be kind to yourself, because beating yourself up for every mistake is another bad habit that needs to be broken."  - Joyce Meyer

My plan for this morning was to hit the gym before work, but I needed to be at work early this morning.  I needed to get up earlier than normal this morning in order to be able to do the gym.  Well, that didn't happen.  I was frustrated with myself for about a minute, and, then, I decided that I wasn't going to let myself off the hook. I'll just go tonight after work.  Tomorrow is my day off.  I can sleep in a little later, and, then, maybe actually get some cardio time in outdoors for a change.

This was the quote in my planner this morning:

"Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity." - John F. Kennedy

Routine

“Time management is an oxymoron.  Time is beyond our control, and the clock keeps ticking regardless of how we lead our lives.  Priority management is the answer to maximizing the time  we have.”  - John C. Maxwell

I feel as though things are beginning to come together somewhat.  I’m finding a groove.  The John Maxwell quote above is simple.  Most of the things that I read in John’s books and so many others are just that.  Simple.  And, yet, so few of us behave in ways that show that we recognize the truth of such simple statements.  Most of us know the “right thing” to do when it comes to making a decision about our finances or our diet, and, still, we often find ourselves doing something other than that right thing.

I am currently attending grad school at a United Methodist Seminary just north of Columbus in pursuit of a masters in counseling.  My calling, my drive to pursue this path, originally came from my desire to help others who, like me, have found themselves conflicted in the arenas of sexuality and spirituality.  Another unexpected way in which I am finding myself compelled to serve is in the field of addictions and recovery.  Both the course work and recovery community themselves have taught me tremendous lessons.  

When I went to my first few AA meetings, I thought of myself as just an observer.  Not being an addict, I wanted to respectfully experience and know what that experience is like for those clients that I will be encouraging to attend such meetings.  The experience changed once I began to realize and open myself up to the fact that, addict or not, all of us can gain something from being in that circle of community and vulnerability.  

One of the things that I have learned from the recovery community is the power and importance of routine.  Routine can be your worst enemy or your greatest source of strength.  If you're wanting to stop drinking, you should probably stop walking or driving home the same route that takes you past your favorite liquor store.  As human beings, we are creatures of habit.  I came across a Joyce Meyer quote earlier today that says, “First we form habits and then they form us.”  There is so much truth in that.  If we want to change something about ourselves, we must first change our habits.

Regina Leeds, the zen-organizing guru that I have mentioned in previous posts has me, through her books, working on some basic foundational habits to getting me to be more organized.  Again, the best stuff is almost always the simple stuff.  I’m making my bed every morning.  When dishes are done in the dishwasher, they immediately come out and go into the cupboards, allowing dirty dishes to go into the dishwasher instead of languishing in the sink.  The same with clothes.  When they are finished in the dryer, the get folded or put on hangers and put away.  Believe me.  I’m still a mess, but these first steps give me hope.  

Another habit that I’m trying to get into my routine is going to the gym regularly.  One of the perks of my apartment is that my lease includes a free gym membership.  I don’t even have the cost to use as an excuse.  I’m more of a night owl, and I work second shift hours.  In the past, I’m gone to the gym at night after work.  In the interest of rearranging my priorities and bringing a little more balance into my life, I’m trying to stop feeding myself the excuse of “I’m just not a morning person.”  Now, even though I don’t go to work until the afternoon, my alarm goes off at 8:00 AM, and I’m at the gym by 9:00.  Then, I head home to do a little cleaning, reading, and get ready for work.  When I walk into work now, I can do so already feeling like I’ve accomplished something for the day, and, even though I still have a long way to go, I’ve taken steps forward towards meeting some of my goals.  When I get home from work, I don’t feel guilty about watching an hour of television and doing some writing.  I’m still very early in these new habits, and, like anyone new to recovery knows, relapse could be a very short step away, but I guess I will handle it the same way they would, one day at a time.

- Culbs

joshua.culbertson@gmail.com

© Joshua Culbertson 2014

A Moment of Honesty

Okay.  It’s time for a moment of honesty.  This isn’t a blog that I want to write.  My other blog, Authentic Culbs.  That one I can get excited about.  Ever since I made the first post on this one, I’ve felt the motivation to right at all leave me.  You know who does want me to write this blog?  My therapist.  That should tell you a lot right there.  As much as I don’t want to write this blog, I know that this is the blog that I need to write.  This is the blog that has the potential to alter how I approach my finances, my health, my relationships, and how I engage in and with the world around me, but it can only do those things if I approach it with the same level of openness and authenticity that I bring to my other blog.

It is interesting to me, as I reflect on where I was 5 or 6 years ago.  I had a blog back then as well.  This was during the time that I was asking myself really difficult questions about my sexuality and my identity as a Christian and whether or not those two different pieces of me could be at peace with one another.  Those were the questions and changes that I was really wrestling with, but it was easier for me to write about how my life was changing in terms of fitness and managing my finances.  Now, I find myself in a position, having worked through those questions of identity, where it is easier to write about my journey of self-acceptance, as some who is both a gay man and a person of faith, than it is to write openly and honestly about my health, my finances, and other areas of my life.  I am still hiding the area of my life where the hardest work needs to be done behind a facade.

To be honest, I am realizing that I concealed my struggle with my sexual and spiritual identities before because I did not have the knowledge or tools to work through those questions.  Now, I am realizing the inverse is true.  I feel secure in who I am, but I realize that somehow I’ve failed to pick up the skills necessary to effectively manage critical areas of my life.  Could I blame others for this?  Absolutely.  I’ve already begun working through the roots of how I got to be who I am today.  Blaming others doesn’t help me move forward though.  Just as with my struggles with my sexuality, people are often amazed, upon hearing my story, that I am not bitter or angry at those who supported my belief that I was broken in some way and needed to be fixed.  How can I be angry with people who, out of their love and desire to help someone in need, helped me attempt to do exactly what I asked them to do.  Do I now see the world through a different lens than they do?  Yes, but I can’t bring myself to feel anger or malice towards them.  I just can’t.  In their own way, they were expressing love towards me.  My health, my finances, my ability or organize and prioritize my life are all things that only I can own, and there have been many points along the way that I have known that better choices needed to be made and have gone in a different direction.  Now comes the difficult work of educating myself and making better choices in the future.

As far as how I am defining better, I will consider myself moving in the right direction when a choice brings me closer to being healthier and more sustainable in terms of my health or finances.  I am also looking to improve my ability to organize myself both interns of the spaces that I occupy and with how I manage the most valuable resource we all have, my time.  I am also seeking to being myself more into line with other ideals that are important to me such as seeking justice and fair treatment for my other human inhabitants of this small planet as well as moving to a place of better relationship with the environment and the world around me.

One small step that I made just today was locating a recycling station just down the road from where I live.  Since I moved this past November, I now live several miles from where I used to take my recyclables, and I have never bothered to find a place to take things near my new home.  It’s not that it never crossed my mind.  I just kept putting it off.  I was embarrassed today when I discovered that the closest recycling station to me is less than a mile from where I live and on my way to work.  It was as simple as going to http://swaco.org.  They list numerous sites around the Columbus area where recyclables can be dropped off.  It’s a small step, but it’s a step in the right direction.  If I keep making small steps like that every day, hopefully, I will indeed become a better Culbs, a better me.

- Culbs

joshua.culbertson@gmail.com

© Joshua Culbertson 2014

First Steps

It’s been over a week since my first post, and I’m far from making significant progress.  Still, I’m encouraged by where my mind has taken me since I committed to begin this journey.  Four days ago, the transmission went out on my car.  It ended up not being a huge deal.  My dad was able to get a friend to fix it, and it actually didn’t cost me anything.  Still, in those few days without a car, those days where walking wasn’t a choice, I had to consider a lot of things.  Could I survive without a car?  I live a mile from where I work.  That one is easy, but I live about 12 miles from where I go to school.  I'm currently working with some people to try to get public transportation connected to my school, but there is no guarantee that it’s going to happen.  I’ve also considered purchasing a bicycle.  I figure I could save $1,200 or so and buy a really crappy car or a really nice bike.  It would only take me about an hour to bike to school from here.  I’m surprised that I am even considering this, but, according to Google maps, it would only take me 6 hours and 19 minutes to bike to my parents house in Zanesville.  Now, I don’t plan on making a ride like that in the immediate, but it’s a good long term goal to shoot for.

The car problems also brought my another aspect of my reality into sharp focus, my finances.  I got lucky this time.  The car was able to be fixed, and it wasn’t a major inconvenience.  I’m not going to be so lucky forever.  I need to come up with a financial plan for that.  The first place that I’ve decided to go for that is a writer that I love for all things organizational, Regina Leeds.  I think she’s great.  My problem is that I’m better at reading her books than taking her advice.  I recently purchased her book, ‘One Year to an Organized Financial Life.’  I think that this will be a good book for me to start with because, before I can begin to move forward, I need to get a clear picture of where I am and understand my financial situation.  I believe her this book will do that for me.  So far, I’ve read the introduction.  Now, it’s time for me to dive in and begin to do that actual work.  I will share some of my victories and defeats as I go.  Of course, I won’t go into great detail in the interest of preserving Ms. Leeds’ future book sales.  As someone who considers themselves to be a writer, I take that somewhat seriously.

In terms of my fitness, I’m still walking to work every day.  My weight seems to be holding at 257 lbs for the last few days.  I’d like to see it fall even more, but, for now, I’m just glad that it’s below the 260 lbs that I began this journey at.  I’m feeling better and more energetic.  I still haven’t gotten anyone to help me understand the results of my last bloodworm.  I feel like I’m making some progress though, and that is a good thing.  Well, with that, I will wrap this up, and I hope to provide you all with more frequent updates from here on out.

-Culbs

joshua.culbertson@gmail.com

© Joshua Culbertson 2014

Announcing....The Pursuit of a Better Me

My doctor, my therapist, and I all agree.  I'm a great guy, but I could be better.  This isn't about pride or vanity.  In fact, it is pride and vanity that keeps me from being better; because, I don't want people to see what a mess I am.  Well, in the spirit of my other blog, www.authenticculbs.com, I'm going to put it all out there.  There are three key areas of my life that I want to clean up: my health, my finances, and general organization.

The first arena that I want to tackle is my health.  I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life, currently 260 lbs.  My doctor also says that my blood pressure and cholesterol or borderline.  I realize as I'm typing this that I don't even know what those numbers are.  I just checked my filing cabinet to see if I still had the test results.  I do.  I'm looking at them right now.  I still have no idea what they say.  I'm going to have to get these in front of someone with some medical training to help me understand where I am starting from.

The second area, my finances, is an area where I have shown some progress and in recent years, but I still have a long way to go before I will feel like I have stability.  Plus, I'm currently in grad school and incurring more educational debt with each passing semester.  I need to adopt more of a long-term focus in my financial planning.

As far as the literal mess of my life, I joke that when I sit down at a table in a coffee shop, I literally explode all over the table.  Within minutes, I will have a laptop out, stacks of books, my planner, magazines, and any multitude of papers all over the place.  The same holds true for my apartment, my car, and my cubicle at work.  I will be working to bring some order to the chaos.  I know, from past experience, that I have to start slowly and get one plate spinning before I move on to the next one.

These are a couple of recent photos of me while on vacation

That brings me back to my health.  That has to be the first arena that I step into.  Without my health, all other areas of opportunity are moot.  I also know that, as I get one plate spinning, it becomes that much easier to start the next one going.  I just have to begin moving forward one baby step at a time.  For this week, I'm simply adding some light exercise.  I live very close to where I work.  I am committing to walk to work every day.  It may seem small, but it's a start.  Next week, I will add another commitment.  I've used this approach with myself before.  If I throw myself into something too hard and too fast, I will become discouraged and give up.  My hope is to be able to show myself, and others, that minute lifestyle changes and produce big and lasting results.

Keep coming back as I continue this journey and share my results!

Culbs

joshua.culbertson@gmail.com

© Joshua Culbertson 2014